no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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