I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
