ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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