Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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