He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I look excited, but its just a facade.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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