my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize