i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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