there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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