Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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