I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
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