My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I have tasted many bathrooms
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