Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
