I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
