so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Let's get the cat blown out
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
