Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize