im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Randomize
