Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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