OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
