Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize
