Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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