Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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