I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
