There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
