it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
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Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
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Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
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