yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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