Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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