You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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