You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
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