I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
