I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
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I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
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I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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