um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
