How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
