you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
We are two peas in an std pod
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize