I don't think brook has ever known best
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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