Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
