I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Farmville is her only friend.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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