I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I deserve this hangover.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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