doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
