well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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