i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Randomize
