He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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