Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
