The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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