My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
