i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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