Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
wanna go halves on a baby?
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
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