If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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