just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Randomize
