how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
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Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
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I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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