Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
