I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
