every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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