Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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