just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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