Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
