the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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