You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
