There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Randomize
