my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
