I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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