Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
