Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
