on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
