im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Drake has all the answers
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
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