i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
